The Purpose of Life

Today is my husband’s 74th birthday.  His brain injury occurred when he was 61 years old.  It is amazing to me that he is still with us.  I am grateful for every day, every month and every year that we have had together.   When I ask him how old he is he always comes up with the same answer - 59. 

I have often wondered in the past years what the purpose of my life is.  I guess we all go through that at some point.  I have mined deep within my heart and I know, without a doubt, what the purpose of my life is.  It is to help my husband in his journey, to keep him as happy as I can, to take care of his every need, and to help him through that portal that we all must go through. 

It is an awesome responsibility to be a caregiver.  In my husband’s case, his physical and emotional existence is entirely in my hands and at times it does get overwhelming.  Making sure he gets enough liquid (dehydration),  enough to eat, keeping him clean and shaved, and trying to make him laugh.    It reminds me of a mother with her baby.  A baby is entirely dependent upon their mothers and fathers.  The only difference for me is that my “baby” will never grow and change, and will never be able to care for himself again.   I try not to think about that, but just take each day as a new day and a better day.

I know what it is like for me on a day-to-day basis, but I have no idea what my husband is going through, and even if he knows things are “different”.

I am looking forward to my trip to my birthplace and seeing old friends and reconnecting.  I know that will be the “refreshing” that I need now.