Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Window to the Soul

The saying "eyes are the window to the soul" is so very true.  I believe you can see so much through a person's eyes.  My husband's eyes tell me so much.  I can see the "sparkle" in his eyes occasionally.  When I see that, it is so heartwarming.  I can also see his pain through his eyes.  I know his spirit and soul are OK because I can see that through his eyes.  Since he cannot communicate because of his brain injury, there are times when he reacts so appropriately to things around him.  Our 3 year old grandson was misbehaving the other day and my husband got upset and told him that "you are being a bad boy".   My heart leaps for joy when this happens (and it is very rare and sometimes months before this happens) and it gives me a certain peace that his soul and spirit are intact and well.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My wish for today

If I could have one wish today it would not be for money, fame, or material things.  It would be for one day to spend with my husband as he was before his injury.  To tell him about all the things that have happened in the last 12 years that he has missed.  The birth of four grandchildren, the death of his younger sister to pancreatic cancer, the death of his father at 94 years of age.  Of course the deaths in our family would be very sad for him, the birth of the grandchildren would make him happy.  I would tell him about the move to a new house that would ease my workload from caring for a house that was too big for the two of us, and was becoming expensive to maintain.  He would scold me for not managing our money too well, he was always the manager and I know things would be different if this had not happened to him.  I would tell him about the long road he has taken to recovery from his cardiac arrest and resulting brain damage, including learning to walk again.  I would tell him about how hard it has been to watch his day-to-day struggle to understand what is going on around him.  I would tell him about the funny things he says that make no sense, but I go along with them just to get him to talk.

If only I could have just one day to spend with him as he was.  That would be worth a so much to me.