Finding Yourself while caregiving

I sometimes have difficulty remembering who I am and who I was before my husband's tragic brain injury. I am so focused on his needs most of the time, I sometimes feel I have lost myself. I have been told by family and friends that I need to do things for myself, but that has been something I have been unable to do. I tried leaving him at an adult day care once, and when I returned to pick him up, all he could do was cry. That tore my heart up and I have been unable to do that again. Most of the time, I don't feel a need to take care of myself and find other things to do. It doesn't seem important to me. His care is my only concern most of the time. When we have the grandkids I can focus on them and him - it keeps me busy.